Roommates are a huge part of dorm life—and sometimes, reality doesn’t quite match the expectation. One student wrote in with a classic problem:
“My roommate swore they were super clean… but now that we’re living together, I’ve realized they’re actually super messy. What do I do without causing drama?”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Sharing a small space with someone new isn’t easy, especially when your habits don’t match up. Here’s how to tackle the messy roommate situation without losing your sanity—or your friendship.
1. Start With a Calm Conversation
It’s tempting to vent to friends or silently fume, but direct communication is the only real fix. Approach your roommate when you’re both relaxed, and focus on how the mess affects you instead of accusing them. For example:
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Instead of: “You’re such a slob.”
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Try: “It stresses me out when dishes pile up because I can’t use the sink.”
2. Suggest Simple Systems
Some roommates just need a little structure. Create a cleaning schedule, divide chores, or agree on small ground rules (like no dirty dishes left overnight). The clearer the expectations, the easier it is to hold each other accountable.
3. Pick Your Battles
Dorm life isn’t spotless by nature. A little clutter might be tolerable—but if it crosses into hygiene issues (like rotting food or trash piling up), it’s fair to speak up. Decide what you can live with and what’s truly non-negotiable.
4. Compromise Where You Can
Remember: you’re both adjusting. Maybe your roommate doesn’t fold laundry right away, but they’ll happily take out the trash. Working out small trade-offs can make the situation feel more balanced.
5. Know When to Get Help
If the problem keeps escalating and you’ve tried talking it through, don’t be afraid to loop in your RA. Their job is to help mediate roommate conflicts—it’s not tattling, it’s problem-solving.