When you picture college, it’s easy to imagine instantly clicking with a group of friends who feel like family. But for many students, the reality looks different. Weeks—or even months—into the semester, you might still be asking yourself: “Why haven’t I found my people yet?”
One student wrote in to Dormie with this exact worry:
“It feels like everyone else has already found their friend group, and I’m still searching for mine. What if I never find my people here?”
Here’s the truth: most students are still figuring out friendships, even if it looks like they have it all together on Instagram. Real friendships take time. Here are some ways to take the pressure off and keep moving forward:
1. Friendships Don’t Have a Deadline
Some students click with people right away, but plenty don’t. Many friendships form later—second semester, junior year, even senior year. If you haven’t found your group yet, you’re not behind.
2. Focus on Shared Interests
The best way to connect is by doing things you enjoy. Join a club, go to a campus event, or chat with classmates about shared hobbies. Starting with something in common makes it easier for friendships to grow naturally.
3. Start Small
You don’t need a huge group to feel at home. One or two close friends can make a big difference. Instead of searching for a “squad,” focus on deepening one connection at a time.
4. Put Yourself Out There, Gently
If walking into a big event feels intimidating, start smaller. Sit next to someone new in class, join a study group, or invite someone for coffee. Small steps count and often lead to bigger connections.
5. Remember: Your People Are Out There
College is full of potential friends you haven’t met yet. Be patient with yourself. The right connections might take time, but they’re worth the wait.