Going home for the holidays can be a mix of cozy and chaotic — familiar streets, your favorite coffee spot, your old high school friends… and sometimes, your ex. Whether it ended last summer or two years ago, running into someone who used to be a big part of your life can stir up all kinds of emotions.
Here’s how to navigate it without losing your peace (or your confidence).
1. Think through what you want that interaction to look like
If you know you’ll probably cross paths — maybe your town only has one coffee shop, or you share the same friend group — it helps to plan ahead.
Would you rather say a quick “hey” and move on? Or just smile and wave from across the room?
There’s no right answer — but deciding beforehand helps you stay in control of how you show up.
2. Remember, you don’t owe anyone a conversation (or closure)
If your breakup didn’t end with a big, emotional wrap-up, you might feel pressure to talk things out.
You don’t have to. You’re allowed to protect your peace and skip the deep talk. “Hey, good to see you” is a full sentence.
3. Keep perspective — you’ve changed
College has probably shifted you in ways you don’t even realize yet. Your routines, your goals, your sense of self — they’ve all grown since that relationship.
When you see your ex, remember: they knew a version of you that doesn’t fully exist anymore.
That doesn’t have to be awkward — it can actually feel empowering.
4. Have a support plan
If you think the encounter might throw you off, text a friend before or after.
It can be something as simple as, “Just saw him at Starbucks. Send memes.”
Sometimes all you need is a reminder from someone who knows the current you, not the version that used to replay old playlists.
5. Shift the focus back to you
Hometown run-ins can be uncomfortable, but they’re also a good reminder of how far you’ve come.
You’re not in that chapter anymore — and that’s something to feel proud of.
Use that energy to spend time with people who make you feel good, do your favorite hometown traditions, and lean into being home on your terms.
💌 Dormie Says:
The holidays are full of nostalgia, but you get to decide what parts you carry forward. Let your peace and growth take center stage this year.