Question:
My roommate’s long-distance boyfriend is coming to stay in our dorm for several days. I feel uncomfortable about him being in our room, but I don’t know how to bring it up. What should I do?
Dormie Says:
First off, your feelings are completely valid. Your dorm is your home too, and you deserve to feel comfortable in it. Setting boundaries doesn’t make you a bad roommate. It makes you a respectful one.
The key is to be honest, but kind. Try something like:
“I’m happy you get to see him, but I need to feel comfortable in our space. Can we figure out a plan that works for both of us?”
This approach shows empathy for your roommate while also making it clear that your needs matter. You’re not saying “no” outright. You’re inviting a conversation where both of you can compromise.
Why Boundaries Matter
Dorm life is all about sharing. You’ll navigate different personalities, study schedules, and sleep habits, and yes, sometimes significant others visiting too. But having open communication is what prevents resentment from building up.
Boundaries aren’t about being controlling; they’re about protecting your peace of mind. And often, once you express your feelings, your roommate will be more understanding than you expect.
Dormie’s Takeaway
✅ You’re allowed to say you’re uncomfortable.
✅ You don’t owe anyone silence about your needs.
✅ Respectful boundaries = a stronger roommate relationship.
Want us to answer your college questions? Send them to us via email at support@hellodormie.com!